APOLOGY TO SELF

Dear Me,

As we get into this new year, there are some things that I decided to bury and not discuss with you. This did not heal nor help me at all, bringing pain and self hate instead.

Am sorry I let you down.

Am sorry that I always put other people’s emotions before yours. That was selfish of me.

In those moments, I thought giving was what I had to do to prove myself, until all that was left was an emptiness that even I couldn’t fill.

Am sorry that I loved someone that I wasn’t supposed to. Selfishly took whatever he wanted a lie, and constant reminder of all the things that I did not yet have.

Am sorry I didn’t appreciate you, body like I am supposed to. I mean waking up in the morning and saying to you “You are perfect”

Am sorry that I doubted you in any way. We are a team and no one can take that power away from us. Its just their way of amplifying their own insecurities

Am sorry that at some point, you stopped believing…